PART 2

On my mother's instructions, as quietly as possble, I entered the house. "Mummy who is it who has come?" Mom told me that some one from father's office has come to meet Papa. Then, she told me to sit in the last room.

My eldest sister was helping mother in the kitchen and serving to the guest. My brother as usual following the footsteps of Papa was telling Mom to get this and that. He was the mediator of the day between father and mother. As usual, my second and third elder twin sisters were playing cards in the next room to living room.

Surprisingly, mom didn't tell me to do any work in the kitchen today. No cooking, no cleaning and no serving. Being habitual to do all these jobs everytime a guest arrived, today I was feeling at odds.

I just moved into the room where my elder sisters were sitting that my mom caught me and told me not to go into the living room. As a new born baby, curiosity was travelling in every nerve of my mind. Who is this person? Why I cannot go in? Why my siblings are allowed then? All these questions started bothering my tiny miny mind.

The fact that my parents never loved me the way they loved my sisters and my brother (especially) never left my mind and heart. I knew that they were not happy with me, and probably they never wanted me as well. I was as unwanted in their and my siblings lives as a rotten fruit in the kitchen. But, I being myself could not even think of giving up, I have always been trying to make my own space in their lives. I was determined as a mountain standing strong and sound, to make them fall in love with me.

As all these thoughts kept coming, I could hear our guest praising my brother and sisters as they have been so helpful to mom throughtout. Our guest rather I should Papa's guest wanted to know how many brothers and sisters we were and showed an interest in meeting us.

Shockingly, my father gave a count of four children in the house. I was partly sure that he had mistakenly said that but my doubt got confirmed when the four children were invited in the living room and introduced to the guest.

The situation in front of me was uncomprehendable and so shocking that I was spellbound.
I felt like crying but could not find any tears to shed. Wanted to rage and shout but had no one to throw my anger out on.

I started praying to GOD again and talked to him silently, " Atleast you accept me. Please call me back to yourself. Oh! I forgot, you also never wanted me that is why you have sent me here. How could I forget that no body has never wanted me including you."
My eyes were wet but no tear touched my cheek as i dared not talk to my so called familyabout it.

That day denial of my exisyence by own family gave me the stringest identity ever - an unwanted DAUGHTER.

My mind was being stormed by so many questions as I was trying to figure it out as why it happened? Was it because I am their fifth child? I am their fourth girl child? Are they ashamed of having me in their lives? I am not worth loving? or the fact that I am their ffifth child and fourth girl while they wanted that to be a boy?

On realising what probably I was going through, my eldest sister ( the sweetest to me in the house) gave her shoulder to me to rest my head on, on which I could finally shed some of my tears and a little part of my sorrow.

PART 1

" There you are you silly girl. Do you realise what is the time? Come home soon.", my friend's mom called out for her angrily.

My friend hastily saying bye to me ran for her house. She left the so obvious instructions with me - to keep our treasure in hiding at the last step of basement of the house in whose verandah we were spending our evenings for 2-3 days.

Its then only I realised that it has been too late from the time we started moulding the loose sand into small eatable items like a cake (a big -big one with lots of cherries on it) and pakoras and so many more. We were preparing to start a grand and a famous hotel of our own. We even planned to open its branches as we got famous.

Well, when my friend went away, I lifted my head to see the moon half hiding behind those translucent cotton like gray clouds. The stars were cheerfully talking to each other making me feel jealous that I was again left alone. Suddenly the realisation that even I am late, rushed into my mind. Hurriedly I packed all the items and hid them at our secret place.

Running towards home, I saw my mom waiting for me in the verandah. My heart started beating faster and I started praying, "God! please don't make my mom angry on me. I will never be late again. I am really sorry."When I reached at the gate my mom hushingly said, " Go and come from the back gate. I am opening the back door for you."

I was too startled as why such an entry. The light coming from the living room and some strange slippers lying outside were enough clues to guess that we had guests at our place. A thought struck me. Probably my shabby clothes and look has caused my back door entrance. But at that moment I didn't realise I was not too far from discovering how nasty life had been with me.

"Thank you God! Thanks a lot. I will never get late again. I know you saved me today. She was not angry with me. I knew that you will save me. I love you." Excitingly and jumpingly I started moving towards the back door through a narrow road which has the back entrances of all the houses in our lane. How was I supposed to know that anger will take over the feeling of gratitude which I felt moments ago for my GOD.